The naming story

Just (finally) got some real content up on the personal website. Included is a story of how the name GrrlieGeek came to be, and I thought I'd post it here too since it turned into a half-rant.

This is the story behind the name GrrlieGeek.

It is also a story of my realization exactly how unequal women still are thought of and treated even today.

So it's early in the 21st century, and you'd think that America, land of the free (burp) home of the brave, would be a model for fairness between people of different cultures and genders. Ha. If I wanted my site and writings to be treated fairly by all, I would avoid mentioning my gender, culture, spirituality and a dozen or so other personal facts. By making plain the fact that I'm female, it is more likely that people will question that I know what I'm talking about, where if they assumed I was male they would assume I knew my stuff. There are all sorts of ways people still, intentionally or unintentionally, treat women differently, as inferior.

I've known about the glass ceiling and other womens' issues for years. When someone suggested to me that I should join the Linuxchix lists I learned a lot more about how women all over the world, even here in the USA, are still put down, paid less, patronized, and generally treated as somehow less than people. I'm lucky, my parents told me that I shouldn't let people tell me I can't do something because I'm female. I haven't experienced a lot of blatant sexism, although I've experienced some more subtle mistreatment. I hadn't really realized how in your face some subtle discrimination is. One moment, tho, really pulled it together for me.

The day was one like most any other day at that job. It was late in the afternoon, so only my buddy Chris and myself were there at the helpdesk. Ironically, he was the first person to show me linux (RedHat 7.x) and the first person in IT to really blatantly say something I recognized as the result of sexist thinking.

As we often did, we were talking about hardware and other geeky topics. Chris told me that "no offense" (which often precedes a comment you ought to take offense at) but he really couldn't take a female's interest in computers seriously unless she proved herself. He likened it to women who develop some knowledge of football just to impress the guys but who really don't give a flip about the game.

If it's not obvious, he thought that most women really aren't interested in computers, and the ones that profess this interest often are being dishonest. Fortunately, once he realized that yes, I really do have an independant interest in computers, he had no problem accepting that I'm good at what I do. He would tell me things like "oh, just do a ps on the processes, I know you've never done that before but it's pretty easy, you'll get it."

So on the day that Chris accepted that I am a geek in my own right, he said something like "Wow. You're a girl, and a geek. You're a girly geek!" And yes, for those who are wondering, he did proceed to do the expected and (jokingly) ask if I was single. Yes, kids, it gets tiring. His moment of realization seemed to me to symbolize this whole amazement that some people have that gosh, women are doing the computing thing and are good at it. Gollygeewiz. I decided to take on the nomiker as a badge of honor, adapted of course. I really can't use the word "girly" in relation to myself. I'm not "girly" in the way the stereotype runs. Suffice to say that pastels and baby pink just don't work here. So I changed it to be grrliegeek.

Grrl. Yeah, that's me. I like computers, I'm good at networking (system networking, not the social club kind). The only reason I keep a Windows 2000 partition around is to play World of Warcraft. Sometimes outspoken and non-PCeelie enough that my friends cry "Brooklyn voice Brooklyn voice!" Brave enough to be honest, and avoid "protecting" other peoples' feelings while being compassionate. A little rebellious, a little mischievous. And I like making people laugh, so I'm rarely too too serious. Grrlie.

I've been talked over, been interrupted and passed over because of my fleshy bits. I've had another clueless geek wannabe try to talk over me when a friend had a question about a router I set up. I have had a carpenter talk to my husband about installing a small cabinet when I was the one who would be grabbing the power tools and installing it. You get the picture.

None of this stops me from being good at what I do and knowing it. Good thing or I'd still be an administrative assistance without a yummy Mepis install on a cool painted-myself blue PC tower. I woulda never have majored in network administration either. Dean's list 4 terms straight, thanks. So all the naysayers and rude talk-over-ya people can kiss my lily white (ahem). I'm a grrl, I'm a geek, I know what I'm doing. Step AWAY from the keyboard.